Home
Sir Mordred the Black Knight aka DJ Floorbat's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Sir Mordred the Black Knight aka DJ Floorbat

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Rumours and Suspicions [10 Oct 2002|01:17pm]
[ mood | suspicious ]

The other day I happened to see the Big Guy chatting on AIM with Mom. I'm not 100% sure, but I think I saw something about "Mordred" and "shave". Then, the Big Guy - in his infinite stupidity - tells me he plans on taking me to the groomer at 2pm on Friday for a shave. Mom was never so careless. She had me in the carrier before she let the secret out. I guess the Big Guy didn't learn his lesson after I scratched his belly up good.

Needless to say, I have been plotting revenge. Mom got very little sleep last night, as I know she is behind this. I've got a bag hidden behind the bushes out front. My escape plans have been hurried into preparedness. I've had to swallow my fur and ask the Moo kitty for help, as she is more familiar with the layout of the surrounding area than I. I just wish the Big Guy would go somewhere, so I could have a chance to make my final break.

_Nobody_Shaves_the_Mord.

FerGawdssake people! I'm a member of Persian Royalty! How dare you attempt to humiliate me thusly?!?!?!

12 comments|post comment

BLAST [28 Sep 2002|03:49pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

They've taken down my last defenses. Despite my valiant assault on the big guy's soft parts, they managed to remove my claws. Now, it's another month of fine honing and sharpening on the woodwork.

Blast!

2 comments|post comment

Silly Kids [26 Sep 2002|02:15pm]
Gah.
the big guy is home today. I had the WHOLE PLACE to myself last week. I got to run around scratching things and jumping on the counters. Now, he's here ALL DAY! I'm sneaking onto Mom's PC. I hope he didn't notice me dragging out the cord. The humans think Anime and I are fighting, but we're really plotting a PC takeover. She's been staking out his machine, and I'm trying to guess Mom's password.

Uh oh!

Here he comes!
1 comment|post comment

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW! [28 Aug 2002|08:15pm]
[ mood | devious ]

The big human was making fun of me again tonight AND he didn't give me any fish. Blast him. I'll torture his simpering kitty until she BEGS for mercy. Unbeknownst to HIM, she and I have been plotting together. This in-fighting is just a ruse. A clever plot to distract them from our actual goals of world domination. First the stairwell, then the world.

1 comment|post comment

I am NO socks [21 Aug 2002|03:31pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | Gossamer - Her Ghost (Skin Mix) ]

Mom is running for President. I am so gonna kick that little pansy Socks butt.

post comment

*Friday Happy Dance* [09 Aug 2002|04:13pm]
[ mood | determined ]

It's Friday!! That means Mommy has more time for ME!! She was home early yesterday and seemed really upset. I think she wasn't feeling well, so I made sure to curl up with her and give her lots of purrrrrrs and love while she took a nap. The big guy brought her chocolate. That was a good move. I would have done it myself if I could just get out this infernal door. Maybe today will be the day I make my big bid for freedom. They can't keep me locked up forever!

1 comment|post comment

Ahem [07 Aug 2002|12:17pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Contrary to popular opinion, I do not masturbate.



That is all.

post comment

Strange goings-on [06 Aug 2002|02:51pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Every few weeks these strange women come in and invade my home. They do some cleaning, talk in a strange language (it isn't FARSI that's for sure!) and spend a few hours. I think I caught them laughing at me once. Just for spite, I refused to get off the table when they were trying to clean it. Mom and Dad are never home when they are around. Neither is the other big guy. I wonder how they get in. Anyway, they're here now.

WHO ARE THEY AND WHAT DO THEY WANT?!?!!

post comment

yawn.stretch.nuzzle [31 Jul 2002|04:29pm]
[ mood | predatory ]

Update: MOM has her own system now. Sadly, it's not on the internet during the day. I haven't figured out exactly why, but it has something to do with a very long cord that she attaches and unattaches. Bugger.

Mom got some really nice new bedding. I was going to play with it, but she never put the stuff on the bed. I did get to rummage around in a bag, though. Mom and the big guy thought that was funny and tried to take pictures, but I thwarted them! NO PEEKTURES!

I've had Mom all to myself for several nights. I've managed to run the big guy onto the couch a couple of times, which leaves a whole side of the bed for me to curl up with Mommy and make sure her dreams are going well. And plant some suggestions for nice snacks for me, too.

[info]animethecatis still in hiding.

1 comment|post comment

I am Mordred. Hear my ROAR! [25 Jul 2002|11:48am]
[ mood | infuriated ]

I am Mordred and I will NOT BE BRUSHED!

That is final

6 comments|post comment

Bored Bored Bored [23 Jul 2002|04:12pm]
[ mood | bored ]

When is mom getting home?!
I'm bored.
And hungry.

8 comments|post comment

I'm not amused [22 Jul 2002|04:13pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

No, not all. It's MY bed, damnit and you h00m0ns need to stop taking up all the space!

3 comments|post comment

TV for ME!! [19 Jul 2002|11:52am]
[ mood | excited ]

Mom better let me watch this.
http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/19/meow.tv.ap/index.html

2 comments|post comment

Meow [18 Jul 2002|12:28pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow

Think I'll watch Star Wars today while the h00m0ns are gone.

Meow Meow Meow

Mom sat on me last night. Not fun.

Meow

post comment

Abandoned [17 Jul 2002|09:16am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Where has Mom been hiding? She's leaving alone with this brut of a cat!! I realize she has to work, but the least she could do is hurry back after she's done and entertain ME. She wouldn't even let me sleep on her head last night. Kept mumbling something about having a fever. I have no idea what THAT means, but the big h00m0n gave me some attention. And food. It's better than nothing.

It's clear that I'm gonna have to lock her in the bathroom to get my props.

post comment

Random KILL factor [12 Jul 2002|09:40am]
[ mood | amused ]

What is a Jeep? Mom keeps going on about it. I'll have to look it up here in a few. Last night there was no big h00m0n in the bed again. I curled up next to Mom in my favorite place (right by her shoulders) where the big h00m0n usually won't let me sleep. Everything was going well, until [info]animethecat decided to play interloper. I was snoozing and didn't catch her at first, but then mom woke up and busted us both on the bed. I had to act alarmed and jump down to protect my dignity.

Breakfast was late again, despite my attempts to wake mom at 6am. At least the big h00m0n gets up early. Mom spent last night doing some ridiculous thing to her legs. It looked like syrup. Could have been tasty! She didn't seem too pleased by the outcome, though. She was cursing and yelling at the box. Silly humans.

1 comment|post comment

Oh Bastet! Why have thee forsaken me? [11 Jul 2002|10:56am]
The big h00m0n is gone. Hoooray! However, this meant that I did not get fed until Mom got up and then remembered to feed me. It was near 10am!! I had to go into the office and stare at her for 20 minutes before she remembered what needed to be done! H00m0ns are so stupid!

Plotting BIG surprise for [info]theonebob when he returns. There'll be pieces of his precious [info]animethecat left around to remind him who is REALLY boss around here. I'm Persian Royalty. He should bow before me and my greatness.

Need to check online for possibility of ordering some steaks to be delivered. I'm getting tired of this cat food crap. Maybe I could have some mice shipped in to amuse me for a spell. Luckily, Mom is off to the gym so I have plenty of time to nose around on the internet before she gets back. Don't know why she's paying for the privilege to get all sweaty and chase an imaginary mouse on a treadmill. Seems silly to me.
1 comment|post comment

First the Bedroom, Then the World [10 Jul 2002|10:37am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Well, Mom has gotten a job. This will mean more time to myself. It's about time she got a job. I was beginning to worry about food shortages and such. She was dancing around the apartment in glee yesterday. Most annoying. She nearly stepped on me and she disturbed my nap. When will they learn?

The other human (the big, mean one) got packed today. I hope he goes away for good. Nobody gets away with calling me "buttface". I smacked Anime good for that one. She's so easy to frighten. It almost brings no joy.

My hope is that, with both humans gone for long stretches of the day, I can plot my escape. At least I'll have regular access to the PC so I can surf kitty pr0n and AIM with my fellow evil masterminds. It's been hard to get any time on the 'net with one of them always on the PC. Mom is even getting her own PC. Excellent.

*whew* that took effort. Time for a nap.

3 comments|post comment

Foiled Again! [09 Jul 2002|10:32am]
[ mood | devious ]

Mom left the door open yesterday. She was carrying huge piles of laundry into the house. I saw an excellent opportunity to make my break for it! Alas, she was onto me and trapped me in the bathroom. FOILED! AGAIN!

The big human [[info]theonebob] said mean things about me this morning. He thinks I don't understand him, but I do. Mom got really annoyed that he was picking on me. I have plans for him. Oh yes. Plans within plans. For now, I'll just torture his simpering little kitty until she cowers in the corner again.

Uh oh. Mom's done in the living room. Gotta run.

1 comment|post comment

h00monz [08 Jul 2002|12:18pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

The human is leaving again. I heard her conversation about "Indian" and "brunch". I think that means she's getting food without me.

damn her.

Think I'll go beat on [info]animethecat now.

post comment

navigation
[ viewing | 20 entries back ]
[ go | earlierlater ]

Advertisement